What men want... - Connected Life Solutions

What do men REALLY want from their partners? AS I watched this, I felt the whole range of emotions, from rebellion to deep gratitude.


John Wineland has a very charismatic way of delivering his message of what men are craving. It is soft and subtle power, It is unassuming and yet it is undeniably strong.


My whole life is centered around building connection and feeling connected to the world, to people I love and to the client’s I work with.  In the moments when I was watching this short clip, I felt connected to the speaker, deep down to the very core of my being. The sacredness of his message was very clear.

He begins his speech with a plea to women everywhere to celebrate the differences between the sexes. Men are men, and from what I can infer, he is stating that as women, we have expectations that men will be “just like us”. So when he states that we should celebrate the differences, celebrate men’s differences, I totally agreed. Men do bring different skills to the table, as well as different needs. I do also believe that when we expect men to be like women, we are doing them a disservice, and rejecting their sacred masculine energy.

Next he delves behind the  bedroom door to emphasize that men really want variety in the bed room. They want the sacred goddess, the caretaker as well as the playful “co-ed” and the “cock whore”. Though his language shocked me because of it’s bluntness, it is true. There is a time for the sacred union and blessed re-connection of two souls, time for the playful, laughing, not serious connection session, as well as the hot, horny and hurried session. I will go out on a limb and say that at least in my experience, having variety between all three keeps the relationship in balance. Too much sacredness, makes it too heavy and weighted. Too much playful takes away the deeper connection. Too much hot and heavy, minimizes the act to it’s animalistic base. Balance between all three is crucial to meeting all needs of all partners.

John stated that men WANT women’s vulnerability. They want our pain, our fears, our heartache. They want to be our soft place to fall, and that we should allow them the space to support and nurture us through those moments. (and by nurture I mean allow us  have the space for us to feel, whilst also feeling protected and cared for) This really hit home for me, as I had been, within my own relationship, trying to work out the ‘HOW TO’ of doing this exact thing. By allowing myself the space to feel rather than solve, and leaning on my husband to hold me as I “felt EVERYTHING” it cleared the space for me to solve from a different place. I have been shocked at the shift in my relationship, after I implemented this one action.

What really got me riled up through John’s session, was the use of the word “Surrender”. When he approached this topic I red lined it just from the use of that word. “Surrender! Is he joking? What century is this bloke living in? I surrender nothing!” I still have issues with this word, though I do see his point. It is linking together a few of the previously stated points. The physical surrender in the bedroom where, we as women, allow another person into our most sacred personal space, into our bodies. The surrender of our heart in it’s totality, to loving another person through all the bits that we don’t really have to like, through all the bits that are different to ours. The surrender to our vulnerability, and that we as women do need a soft place to fall, a soft place to fall apart where we can be emotional and upset AND have someone hold us while we feel EVERYTHING. In our hearts we want that person to be our partners. To show that level of vulnerability is courageous.


Now ladies…I would like to insert here my own extra point. I do agree, at it’s core with most of what John Wineland has discussed in this short clip, but I just want to say that these things are possible ONLY WHEN you have a man who is  not a boy. If you have a boy, most of what is discussed here is not possible. You cannot rely on a child to be there when you need them, you cannot be vulnerable to a child, you cannot surrender to a child. So before you go and make this leap of faith within your relationships, make sure that your man is a man. I am sure that given enough time, incentive and coaching a manchild can grow up into a man…but only if that is what he wants. They have to first want to be a man, have to want to embrace that energy before they can begin to step into it.


For me, as a strong, smart, energetic, mother of 4 and wife to one, female entrepreneur I found this presentation uncomfortable to watch. It challenged me to embrace MY scared feminine energy and it’s strengths.


I would encourage you to watch it a few times like I did. Each time accentuated the message further.

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