No-one is Looking at You - Connected Life Solutions

A while back, I took my children to the public swimming pool.

Yes I was brave enough to take 2 average swimmers and two non-swimmers to the pool by myself! Very brave indeed!

I had dressed in my bathers underneath my clothes so all I would have to do, when we reached the pool, was get my kit off, and start swimming.

So there I was, in all my glorious size 18-20 body that had carried 4 healthy babies, in all my wondrous ampleness. So naturally I was feeling self-conscious. Yes I was feeling rather uncomfortable as I was taking off my clothing and approaching the pool.


She was just as uncomfortable as I was!


On my way to the side of the pool, I noticed another mother there with her two young children. She would have been about a size 10. Our eyes met and I noticed she was tugging uncomfortably at her bathers. And what happened next has truly liberated me.

She was as uncomfortable as I was!

There she was, all self-conscious, and so was I. Her eyes flicked to me, and then darted away. She was trying very hard to not be noticed. After this I looked at everyone else in the water with their kids. They were all feeling the same way.

Self-conscious. Uncomfortable. Not wanting to make eye contact.


We were all so super worried about what we “thought” everyone else would think about us in our near naked state. When the opposite is true. We are all so worried about ourselves, we have barely any room for anyone else.

This was my “OMG!” moment. Nobody was looking at me. Nobody was thinking about me. Then my awareness expanded and the life lesson was taught and learned in this one moment.


People are more concerned about themselves, than with you!


The vast majority of people are more concerned with themselves, how they look, how they are being viewed, and opinions about them that they have very little room to think those things about me.

So if I stop judging me and feeling self-conscious, then I will be better off to be of service.


Everyone feels uncomfortable walking into a room full of people they do not know. Everyone wonders if they have bad breath after eating. Everyone wonders if you can see the pimple on their chin, or the food in their teeth, or the food stain on their top.


  • So now I wear what I feel comfortable in
  • I dress to impress me, not anyone else
  • I sing loudly (and out of tune) in my car
  • I rock it out in the car, hand actions and all!
  • I wear my bathers (with only a little bit of self-consciousness) at the pool
  • I sing out loud in the back garden


Now that I know, people are more concerned with themselves, I don’t have to be as concerned about me. Nobody cares!

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