Mummy Guilt

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A Mother’s Guilt

Why is it, that in today’s society, anything a mother does for herself, is called selfish?

Why do we have to give all of ourselves to the mothering process?

Please don’t misinterpret me here. I love my children. I dedicate myself to mothering them, raising them, loving them. Giving them, all that I have. But I do not do it every single second of the day. There are times during the day, when what I need is more important than their need.

It presupposes that if we do choose something for ourselves, that we must feel bad about it.

Rebecca

I hereby formally reject the idea of “Mummy Guilt!” Mummy guilt implies that we are doing something wrong. That we have chosen to do something that is, (simply based on fulfilling our selfish needs), to the detriment of the children. Mummy guilt also implies that we are not self sacrificing enough.

  • Will somebody please tell me when enough is enough? Is enough EVER enough? And if we do, sacrifice ourselves onto the alter of motherhood, will our children ever be grateful enough to fill that void where we once used to call ourselves “me”?

Where we once had an identity. Where we once had enjoyment that did not surround and depend on the mothering of a child!

In my coaching and Tarot reading business, I have met women who feel the void. They lack self-confidence and self-belief. They live only for their children, their partners, their friends, their job. They feel the void of where THEY used to be.   They feel it. Somewhere along the line, they got lost in the roles that they fulfill. When they begin to do things for themselves, they are racked with guilt, that they should be dedicating all their time and energy towards their family. Why do they feel badly about doing things that fill them? Spending money on themselves.   Investing in their own person.  

In order for us to give of ourselves to our children, we must first, have something to give.

Rebecca

Without the stimulation and satisfaction of this course, I would not be who I am today. I am happier, more understanding, kinder, gentler, a better mother, a better partner, generally a better person.   This course fills me up. It helps me to feel better about myself. Achievement through this course increases my self-belief and self-confidence. Learning more, enlivens me, so that I can be more present with my children.

So is it really selfish?

As part of my study requirements, I am traveling interstate for the Neuro Linguist Programming (NLP) training to certify me as a NLP practitioner. And I will admit to you, there have been a few raised eyebrows sent in my direction because of this. I have steadfastly held onto the knowledge that my need to fulfill my study obligations, does not mean that I am not fulfilling my parental obligations. Nobody raises an eyebrow when my husband frequently works away from home!

Am I really sacrificing the future happiness and psychological stability of our children by going away to study for six nights?

I do not believe so.

Happy and fulfilled parents, raise happy and fulfilled children.

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