I was listening to an audio download yesterday about living what the presenter called, “a success filled life” and it got me thinking. What exactly is a success filled life and how do I specifically create one?
Harnessing all that I know about mindset and training my brain to recognize what I want it to, I thought that I would present to you my steps to achieving a success filled life. But firstly let’s jump into why we often think we fail, at this thing called life.
We make it too easy to see and stack our failures in a nice big pile that we constantly stare at and talk to ourselves about. Now Come on! I cannot be the only one out there who likes to stroll down memory lane and replay those situations an circumstances when “shit” just didn’t work out the way that I had planned, or didn’t work out at all! It is a lovely little movie reel of what didn’t go right playing inside my head reminding me to not do that again, because taking those risks caused me to fail and therefore I was in pain, I was embarrassed and that I would never succeed at my goals.
This is a game we play inside our own heads that is supposed to keep us tucked up nicely in the safe zone of our comfort zone, where we experience minimal disruption and disappointment. In THIS zone, we have familiar pain that we KNOW we can manage, because we do manage it, everyday of our lives. Outside this zone, is unfamiliar pain, the pain we are not certain we can manage and therefore to be avoided at all costs! (or so the little voice in our heads says)
Creating a success filled life happens on two levels.
First we must begin by making is EASY for us to achieve success and the other is to swap out certainty of familiar pain to certainty that we can manage the unfamiliar as well.
So let’s look at success as though it works on a point scoring system. Every success you achieve, you get one point. Easy success looks like this. Instead of having the end goal, be the ONLY point that you get, what if you got a point for the accomplishment for every step that lead up to that end goal success?
It’s like doing the washing (in my family of 6 there is a never ending mountain of washing). The washing is not one job that gives me only one point. Each step gives me one point. Collecting, sorting, washing, hanging, bringing in, folding, sorting and putting away. That is eight points in total. Whereas in the previous model I would have only received one at the completion, I now have eight. So feeling successful throughout the task AND at the completion of the task is easier. It makes me want to complete each step, because each step gives me one point.
I know that this may not sit well with some of you, but try it on. What if you received good feelings for every step you took towards creating that end prize? What if by feeling good along the pathway, helped you create greater momentum and kept you on track towards that big pot of gold at the end of the rainbow? I wonder how much more you could achieve when you give yourself points for each act of implementation and changed your definition of failure to inaction? It would make success action based, (yes even imperfect implementation counts as a success because you did it) and the only way you could fail would be to not try, to not do and to not follow through.
Mind blown yet? But wait there is more!
Let’s take a swing at certainty and that comfort zone. Inside the comfort zone, we are comfortable with the problems and pain that we have in everyday life. We KNOW this pain and we know that we can manage this pain because we are managing it everyday. We are comfortable with it. Anything that is new, we are not sure about. Some of us thrive on that newness, the adventure of the new and exciting things, though most of us don’t. New is scary and it triggers us to feel unsure, so we back away from it into what we are comfortable and familiar with.
Success is no different. We know what makes us feel good and successful and we know that these new things are risky and we may not achieve that end goal, so it is risky and unfamiliar. When you swap out familiar success with the uncertainty of the new, you have to place your certainty somewhere, otherwise you won’t do it. It is TOO much risk. So place you certainty inside yourself. That you are CERTAIN, sure, and you just know that you will be okay no matter what happens at the end. You place your certainty in you, that you will manage no matter what the circumstances are, you will cope, you will make it through and when you create that shift, you can tackle anything outside your current comfort zone.
Success happens on two fronts. It happens in every step we take on our journey towards the final outcome that we desire, and for that to happen, we must be sure that we can cope with whatever comes our way as a result. Will the results always match our expectations…maybe not. I cannot tell you that every step you take will give you the results that you want. But I can tell you that not taking a step will never get you to that end result.
**Personal story here. My husband and I have a financial plan for our financial future that is based in long term property investment. Every week we budget, every week we save, every week causes me to feel successful, because every week I create actions that take us closer to our goals. If I only felt good when we purchased the next property, my feelings of success would be few and far between and I would lose interest.
It’s also like being on a healthy eating plan, if all you counted was the weight lost at the end of the week as success, then you wouldn’t experience a lot of it. Most weight loss is slow. If you counted every meal, every healthy snack, each glass of water as a successful step, then you would be experiencing success all day, every day and you would have a lot more momentum to keep doing it and your long term, end goal success would be more likely.
Success is a muscle you exercise everyday.